Ok, so not to use a horrible cliche', but I guess in a sense today truly is the "first day of the rest of my life".
Sitting having coffee and mentally preparing myself for going to seek psychiatric help for the first time. A visit which is 10 yrs ovedue. On top of that I'm also preparing myself for what will be my first night in a shelter.
Trying to keep the stress of the latter in check, seeing as the first stop at Dr is to deal with my stress, so trying to...... ummm...... ok, I'll tell you what I'm trying to do, I'm trying to be my usual long winded self and give you an interesting read into my day, but I'll be honest, I don't really have the right words for anything today.
Not that I'm freaking out, I'm just tired and anxious.
Spent the night just quietly reading a book at the train station. Nobody bothered me, because as of yet I don't display "the signs" of a homeless person. I'm dressed good, I smell good, I'm polite, so I couldn't possibly be homeless right? I appear "normal" to the untrained eye, so society is not yet overlooking me. I wonder how many people who smile, and even flirt, with me this morning ever really understand just how close anyone could be to a series of events that land them into a situation they believe 100% could NEVER be them?
Don't get me wrong, I don't blame them, or harbor resentment, I never thought it possible myself, but thats the danger.
Anyway, don't think I've really said anything great here today. Just felt I should write something as I begin this day.
More to come, hopefully some of it good