There's been a lot of change over the past few weeks, as you've been able to tell from my mood swings ;)
I've been finding myself both feeling more "homeless", and yet feeling more empowered.
After spending some time with a friend last weekend I was reminded that as great as my "team" of psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, housing advocates, and case managers are, they work for ME, not the other way around.
So I've taken a more aggressive approach on delegating their duties. I'm shopping for new psychiatrists, so when I've given a number to call, I have my psychologist do the calls and set the appointments.
I've been notified for my first screening for housing in three particular buildings, so instead of calling to make an appointment, I jumped on the train, walked in Home Start without an appointment, and demanded I be advised on how to proceed. At that point my advocate smiled, took the paper, and HE made the call for my appointment, and HE will be escorting me to the screening.
I got aproved for a one month extension yesterday at my current shelter because I got in my my social workers face and made him call my shelter now while we were still two weeks out., so I'm secured till at least Spet 11th -- Yeah that's a whole other story itself, but I can probably use to my advantage if need be, seeing as putting me out on the streets when my PTSD stems from loss from Sept 11th, it would be clinically negligent on their parts.
Point is, the more aggressive I'm getting, the harder they are working, and the faster I'm seeing results, or even a lack of results... but far less WAITING to find out either way, and that is what makes me crazy.
There's a guy that whoever you speak to in this town, sooner or later his name comes up, so I decided it was time he met ME. So I went to the multi center and asked to see him, was told the hours of walk in, and imediately did a little name dropping. Talking to him for the first minute is like a comedian finishing and waiting to see if Johny Carson was going to invite them to the desk or not. Soon the door was closed, we were both sitting and laughing, and this man confirmed to me that I'm doing everything right, and have all the right people
At least I have this, because it's getting harder financially, psychically, and more and more time involved in difficult scheduling. Trying to keep up, while knowing that when I make an appointment and cant make the soup kitchen, I most likely won't eat because the food donations to shelter are getting few and far between. Come the first of the month I won't be able to get into Boston from Waltham because my transit pass expires on the 31st. Or that my communication is off on the 2nd when I can't pay the phone bill.
I need that security that if I'm out of commission a few days or a week, my people are at least mostly on the case.
Make no mistake there is also a greater sinse of freedom the more I slip into the homeless role. I laid on a bench today, just because it was comfortable :)
No more worrying about what anyone thinks, I'm much more aware, and interactive with the environment around me!
Down and out, but looking up ;)
Gary aka John Doe