This new heightened sense of self is making it hard to breathe.
Meaning with all these new challenges being thrown at me, and all these new directions my life is taking for the better, I feel a sense of rebirth. Not religiously, I mean it in the literal sense.
It's like coming out of a ten year coma, and i'm relearning life.
However for someone still wobbling on their new legs, i'm taking very big steps, and trying to make some very big decisions. Sometimes seemingly too big.
Then you look at the obstacles surrounding it... How the hell am I in a position to make major life choices, when i'm constantly tired.
I can't prioritize right now, i'm distracted by billboards with hamburgers because I eat bologna 6 days a week.
I need to sit on a cushion for longer than it takes for the doctor to come get me.
Pardon my bluntness, but I need the touch of a woman...... Good god I need the touch of a woman!
My brain is a scrambled mess, and it seems every decision I have to make is over the top important... and I just want a moment to breathe, catch up, and look at all this with a clear head.
Yet I know this won't happen. Shelter living is not designed to meld with multiple positive aspects of life. It just don't balance.
A very tired,
Gary aka John Doe